The Psychology Behind Fear of Commitment

Has your relationship been going downhill because every time you get intimate he withdraws? Has she been acting distant and moody and just won’t settle down? Fear of commitment might be just the thing keeping you from becoming too close to someone. If you panic every time the person you like makes a grand gesture of love, you fear commitment. Here’s why.

People who fear intimacy and commitment often build up walls around themselves. They reveal only what is mandatory, and will do anything to keep their significant other from seeing them in a vulnerable state. The slightest romantic gesture might send them running or drive them crazy with fear.

Fear of commitment is often present in an individual because he has been hurt in the past and is scared it might happen again. This is the most common reason as to why people fear commitment; they have experienced trauma and hurt once and do not think getting close to someone all over again is worth the pain. People who have just gotten out of a very serious relationship or have gone through a divorce often tend to be scared to get romantically involved again. They feel like getting hurt or betrayed once was enough, and do not want to risk it ever again. These people flee as soon as they feel things have started getting serious and may be leading towards a committed relationship.

Another reason might be that a person values their freedom too much to settle down. Some people find relationships suffocating; they need their space, and limitations that come with sincerity and commitment are too much for them to handle. When you get involved with someone certain sacrifices have to be made, and for people who want to live their lives entirely their own way, this might be a bother. Being with one person at all times and making changes to suit their needs or lifestyle will make such a person feel like he or she is having to give up way too much in return for a relationship. Hence the minute things start getting serious and moving onto the next level, these people pull away.

The fear of commitment and settling down can be overcome easily once you decide what you want from a relationship. Just because you were hurt once, remember, it doesn’t have to happen all over again. And if certain sacrifices have to be made in return for a happier life, go for it, it just might be the best decision you have ever made.

Comments are closed.